NORRATOR – NORRA + narrator
Stories shaped by experience
Gotta Catch ‘Em All… but I Choose You
I used to watch Pokémon with the kids on weekends.
If you know Pokémon, you’ll know there are a lot of them.
The whole idea, as I understood it, was to catch as many as you could. Gotta catch ’em all, right?
But there was another part I found interesting.
When it came time for a battle, you couldn’t just throw every Pokémon you had at the opponent. You had to choose the right one.
The one with the right ability.
The one that could handle that particular battle.
I didn’t think much of it at the time.
Until, somewhere along the way, I realised that life works a little like that too.
Especially when you’re a single parent.
There are always more things that need doing than there is time to do them.
More people who need you than there are hours in the day.
More bills than money.
More commitments than energy.
And sometimes the choices are ridiculously ordinary.
Do I go out on Friday night and risk being exhausted when my son has a sports day the next morning?
Do I get out of bed to check whether the kids have actually brushed their teeth, or do I stay where I am because I am so tired I could cry?
Do I take on another piece of work because we need the money, even though I know it will take me away from the children?
Do I say yes because someone needs me?
Or do I say no because I need something too?
When everything feels important, choosing becomes surprisingly difficult.
For a long time, I thought the answer was simply to try harder.
Be more organised.
Work harder.
Give more.
Sleep less.
Somehow make everything fit.
And when it didn’t, I felt inadequate.
Insecure.
Overwhelmed.
I thought I was failing at adulting because I couldn’t seem to keep all the balls in the air.
Then one day, a colleague named Denise asked me a question.
She told me to make a list of the people who were important to me.
So I did.
At the time, my list looked something like this:
Mom.
Haziq.
Tijani.
Hubby.
Me.
Denise looked at it.
Then she moved “Me” to the top.
I remember thinking:
What?
That was ridiculous.
Selfish, even.
How could I possibly put myself before everyone else?
There were children to look after. Responsibilities to meet. People who depended on me.
Denise then asked me a question that made the whole thing rather difficult to argue with.
If something happened to me — if I became too sick or too exhausted to function — who would take care of all these people?
And there it was.
The thing I had somehow missed.
Putting myself first wasn’t necessarily about putting everyone else last.
It was about recognising that I was also one of the people I was responsible for.
That conversation stayed with me.
Because I had been thinking about sacrifice as though it was the same thing as being responsible.
But they aren’t always the same.
Sometimes, sacrifice is necessary.
Sometimes, you give something up because something else matters more.
But sometimes we sacrifice ourselves simply because we haven’t allowed ourselves to choose.
And there is a difference.
We can’t have everything.
We can’t do everything.
We can’t be everything to everyone, all at the same time.
At some point, we have to choose.
Not because the things we leave behind don’t matter.
Sometimes they matter enormously.
We choose because everything matters, and we have limited time, energy, attention and resources to give.
That was the part I didn’t understand when I was younger.
I thought choosing meant disappointing someone.
Or being selfish.
Or admitting that I couldn’t cope.
Now I think choosing is part of taking responsibility.
For the life you’re trying to hold together.
For the people who depend on you.
And, inconveniently, for yourself too.
I still think about that Pokémon lesson sometimes.
You may have a whole collection.
But when the battle comes, you choose the one you need.
Not because the others suddenly became unimportant.
Because this is the battle in front of you.
And sometimes, the Pokémon you need to choose is you.
I didn’t know that when I first heard the phrase:
Gotta catch ’em all.
I just knew the kids liked Pokémon.
Looking for a Speaker?
A good talk should give people something to think about – and, ideally, something worth taking with them afterwards.
Think clearly.
Live meaningfully.
Grow with purpose.
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